Most Valentines I read are either funny or full of judgment. Typically these are “positive” judgments, but judgments none the less. For example, things like “You are my soulmate”, or “There is no one in the world sweeter than you”. And sure, these things are fine enough for a Valentine,

Tis’ the season of love, so in the spirit of timely appropriateness, I decided to explore how one can use NVC to deepen their love of self. Because while having a loving partner can be nice, it is even better to have a loving self. Luckily, nonviolent communication (NVC) can

Have you ever received advice from someone and instead of being able to appreciate what they shared, you just end up angry? Or maybe embarrassed? That’s because advice is one of those other conversational responses, and receiving it isn’t always a connecting experience. But why isn’t it connecting? Usually, the

This blog talks a lot about Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, and we have likely mentioned restorative practices at some point. Today, I’d like to talk about the incredible benefits of combining the two. But first, some insider history: Dr. Cindy Bigbie, the founder of The Bigbie Method, has focused The

Marshall Rosenberg advises us to “Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs”. Any time we experience anger, it is because there is a need that is not being tended to. And I think that whatever need we initially recognize as the impetus for our anger is usually just

According to the National Council for Behavioral Health, at least 70% of adults in the U.S. have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives (1). I think the number is probably higher than that, depending on how one would define “trauma”. Many people understand trauma

I have been practicing and studying Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for 5 years. I would say that I’ve been very intentionally living in NVC for the last 3 of those years. In the last year and some change, I have embarked on the greatest, most challenging, and most rewarding journey to

Recently, someone in one of our Empathy Gym sessions shared about an experience in which they encountered someone who said some things in conflict with their beliefs and values, and in a way that did not meet their needs for respect. In turn, this person was pretty hurt, irked, and

In Nonviolent Communication, people practice something called reflection when giving empathy to others. Basically, this is when someone repeats back what they are hearing another person say, usually in a shortened, paraphrased manner. It is a fairly integral part of the process of giving empathy, but I fear the reasoning

‘Tis the season to be thankful. At the end of the year, especially around Thanksgiving (for those in the United States), people tend to reflect on what brings them joy, contentment, and peace in their lives. Along with communing with family and eating significantly more than usual, it is a

For a long time in my Nonviolent Communication journey, I exclusively used self-empathy as a tool to process interpersonal conflicts. When I was angry or triggered by something that happened in my life, I often found myself ruminating on judgments and blame of others (people around me, systems, or society

Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC once said, “It’s not easy to teach people to be nonviolent. It is easy to teach people to repress.” There is a difference between actually being nonviolent and the experience of pushing down/away one’s feelings in order to move on and survive. Repressing emotions

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In response to trauma, our minds and bodies often develop coping mechanisms to protect us from further harm. These are known as trauma responses, and understanding them is crucial for

I hear critiques around Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, all the time. I also pretty much always have a reasonable response to those critiques. I decided to look up the most common critiques and respond to them here, because as someone who teaches and practices NVC regularly, I know how powerful

Okay okay, I know this seems like a sales pitch-y thing, and I promise you that while this *might* get The Bigbie Method some new empathy gym members, my intention for this is to simply share why I love the Empathy Gym (or EG for short) because unless they’ve been

Top-down and bottom-up approaches are two different perspectives on how trauma can affect an individual and how therapeutic interventions can address trauma. These approaches are often used in the field of psychology and psychotherapy to understand and treat trauma-related issues. Top-Down Approach The top-down approach focuses on the cognitive and

I often hear the advice to “be true to your feelings” or “feel your feelings”. For the most part, I think this is wise advise. People who have more awareness around their feelings and have more specific language to describe it tend to be better at emotional regulation and dealing

Anyone on their Nonviolent Communication (NVC) journey, whether they are first learning to implement it into their daily life, or have been doing so for many years, will likely encounter someone who is resistant to their use of NVC. Usually, this person is someone who is accustomed to hearing the

This is likely in the top 10 pieces of advice I give to my students of Nonviolent Communication, and even some of my therapy clients: living your truth and leading by example is much more effective than lecturing others into adopting your philosophies. In other words, walk the walk more

The start of the school year, often accompanied by fresh notebooks and eager faces, can paradoxically also usher in an overwhelming tidal wave of stress and anxiety for teachers and students alike. As teachers prepare to step into their classrooms, armed with lesson plans and aspirations, they also find themselves